PITHETAERUS

Here! look! -

EUELPIDES

What's the matter? -

PITHETAERUS

Why, the crow has been directing me to something up there for some time now. -

EUELPIDES

And the jay is also opening its beak and craning its neck to show me I know not what. Clearly, there are some birds about here. We shall soon know, if we kick up a noise to start them. -

PITHETAERUS

Do you know what to do? Knock your leg against this rock. -

EUELPIDES

And you your head to double the noise. -

PITHETAERUS

Well then use a stone instead; take one and hammer with it. -

EUELPIDES

Good idea! (He does so.) Ho there, within! Slave! slave! -

PITHETAERUS

What's that, friend! You say, "slave," to summon Epops? It would be much better to shout, "Epops, Epops!" -

EUELPIDES

Well then, Epops! Must I knock again? Epops! -

TROCHILUS (rushing out of a thicket)

Who's there? Who calls my master? -

PITHETAERUS (in terror)

Apollo the Deliverer! what an enormous beak!

(He defecates. In the confusion both the jay and the crow fly away.) -

TROCHILUS (equally frightened)

Good god! they are bird-catchers. -

EUELPIDES (reassuring himself)

But is it so terrible? Wouldn't it be better to explain things? -

TROCHILUS (also reassuring himself)

You're done for. -

EUELPIDES

But we are not men. -

TROCHILUS

What are you, then? -

EUELPIDES (defecating also)

I am the Fearling, an African bird. -

TROCHILUS

You talk nonsense. -

EUELPIDES

Well, then, just ask it of my feet. -

TROCHILUS

And this other one, what bird is it? (To PITHETAERUS) Speak up! -

PITHETAERUS (weakly)

I? I am a Crapple, from the land of the pheasants. -

EUELPIDES

But you yourself, in the name of the gods! what animal are you? -

TROCHILUS

Why, I am a slave-bird. -

EUELPIDES

Why, have you been conquered by a cock? -

TROCHILUS

No, but when my master was turned into a hoopoe, he begged me to become a bird also, to follow and to serve him. -

EUELPIDES

Does a bird need a servant, then? -

TROCHILUS

That's no doubt because he was once a man. At times he wants to eat a dish of sardines from Phalerum; I seize my dish and fly to fetch him some. Again he wants some pea-soup; I seize a ladle and a pot and run to get it. -

EUELPIDES

This is, then, truly a running-bird. Come, Trochilus, do us the kindness to call your master. -

TROCHILUS

Why, he has just fallen asleep after a feed of myrtle-berries and a few grubs. -

EUELPIDES

Never mind; wake him up. -

TROCHILUS

I am certain he will be angry. However, I will wake him to please you.

- (He goes back into the thicket.) -

PITHETAERUS (as soon as TROCHILUS is out of sight)

You cursed brute! why, I am almost dead with terror! -