411 BC

THE THESMOPHORIAZUSAE

by Aristophanes

anonymous translator

CHARACTERS IN THE PLAY -

EURIPIDES

MNESILOCHUS, Father-in-law of Euripides

AGATHON

SERVANT OF AGATHON

HERALD

WOMEN

CLISTHENES

A MAGISTRATE

A SCYTHIAN POLICEMAN

CHORUS OF THESMOPHORIAZUSAE-

women celebrating the THESMOPHORIA

THE THESMOPHORIAZUSAE -

(SCENE:- Behind the orchestra are two buildings, one the house of the poet AGATHON, the other the Thesmophorion. EURIPIDES enters from the right, at a rapid pace, with an air of searching for something; his father-in-law MNESILOCHUS, who is extremely aged, follows him as best he can, with an obviously painful expenditure of effort.) -

MNESILOCHUS

Great Zeus! will the swallow never appear to end the winter of my discontent? Why the fellow has kept me on the run ever since early this morning; he wants to kill me, that's certain. Before I lose my spleen entirely, Euripides, can you at least tell me where you are leading me? -

EURIPIDES

What need for you to hear what you are going to see? -

MNESILOCHUS

How is that? Repeat it. No need for me to hear... -

EURIPIDES

What you are going to see. -

MNESILOCHUS

Nor consequently to see... -

EURIPIDES

What you have to hear. -

MNESILOCHUS

What is this wiseacre stuff you are telling me? I must neither see nor hear? -

EURIPIDES

Ah! but you have two things there that are essentially distinct. -

MNESILOCHUS

Seeing and hearing? -

EURIPIDES

Undoubtedly. -

MNESILOCHUS

In what way distinct? -

EURIPIDES

In this way. Formerly, when Aether separated the elements and bore the animals that were moving in her bosom, she wished to endow them with sight, and so made the eye round like the sun's disc and bored ears in the form of a funnel. -

MNESILOCHUS

And because of this funnel I neither see nor hear. Ah! great gods! I am delighted to know it. What a fine thing it is to talk with wise men! -

EURIPIDES

I will teach you many another thing of the sort. -

MNESILOCHUS

That's well to know; but first of all I should like to find out how to grow lame, so that I need not have to follow you all about. -

EURIPIDES

Come, hear and give heed! -

MNESILOCHUS

I'm here and waiting. -

EURIPIDES

Do you see that little door? -

MNESILOCHUS

Yes, certainly. -

EURIPIDES

Silence! -

MNESILOCHUS

Silence about what? About the door? -

EURIPIDES

Pay attention! -

MNESILOCHUS