1861

ODE TO DAMON

by Lewis Carroll

ODE TO DAMON -

(From Chloe, who Understands His Meaning.) -

"OH, do not forget the day when we met

At the fruiterer's shop in the city:

When you said I was plain and excessively vain,

But I knew that you meant I was pretty. -

"Recollect, too, the hour when I purchased the flour

(For the dumplings, you know) and the suet;

Whilst the apples I told my dear Damon to hold,

(just to see if you knew how to do it). -

"Then recall to your mind how you left me behind,

And went off in a 'bus with the pippins;

When you said you'd forgot, but I knew you had not;

(It was merely to save the odd threepence!). -

"Don't forget your delight in the dumplings that night,

Though you said they were tasteless and doughy:

But you winked as you spoke, and I saw that the joke

(If it was one) was meant for your Chloe! -

"Then remember the day when Joe offered to pay

For us all at the Great Exhibition;

You proposed a short cut, and we found the thing shut,

(We were two hours too late for admission). -

"Your 'short cut', dear, we found took us seven miles

round

(And Joe said exactly what we did):

Well, I helped you out then- it was just like you men-

Not an atom of sense when it's needed! -

"You said 'What's to be done?' and I thought you in fun

(Never dreaming you were such a ninny).

'Home directly!' said I, and you paid for the fly,

(And I think that you gave him a guinea). -

"Well, that notion, you said, had not entered your head:

You proposed 'The best thing, as we're come, is

(Since it opens again in the morning at ten)

To wait'- Oh, you Prince of all dummies! -

"And when Joe asked you 'Why, if a man were to die,

Just as you ran a sword through his middle,

You'd be hung for the crime?' and you said 'Give me

time!'

And brought to your Chloe the riddle- -

"Why, remember, you dunce, how I solved it at once-

(The question which Joe had referred to you),

Why, I told you the cause, was 'the force of the laws',

And you said 'It had never occurred to you.' -

"This instance will show that your brain is too slow,

And (though your exterior is showy),

Yet so arrant a goose can be no sort of use

To society- come to your Chloe! -

"You'll find no one like me, who can manage to see

Your meaning, you talk so obscurely:

Why, if once I were gone, how would you get on?

Come, you know what I mean, Damon, surely." -

1861. - -