1861

A SEA DIRGE

by Lewis Carroll

A SEA DIRGE -

THERE are certain things- as, a spider, a ghost,

The income-tax, gout, an umbrella for three-

That I hate, but the thing that I hate the most

Is a thing they call the Sea. -

Pour some salt water over the floor-

Ugly I'm sure you'll allow it to be:

Suppose it extended a mile or more,

That's very like the Sea. -

Beat a dog till it howls outright-

Cruel, but all very well for a spree:

Suppose that he did so day and night,

That would be like the Sea. -

I had a vision of nursery-maids;

Tens of thousands passed by me-

All leading children with wooden spades,

And this was by the Sea. -

Who invented those spades of wood?

Who was it cut them out of the tree?

None, I think, but an idiot could-

Or one that loved the Sea. -

It is pleasant and dreamy, no doubt, to float

With "thoughts as boundless, and souls as free":

But, suppose you are very unwell in the boat,

How do you like the Sea? -

There is an insect that people avoid

(Whence is derived the verb "to flee").

Where have you been by it most annoyed?

In lodgings by the Sea. -

If you like your coffee with sand for dregs,

A decided hint of salt in your tea,

And a fishy taste in the very eggs-

By all means choose the Sea. -

And if, with these dainties to drink and eat,

You prefer not a vestige of grass or tree,

And a chronic state of wet in your feet,

Then- I recommend the Sea. -

For I have friends who dwell by the coast-

Pleasant friends they are to me!

It is when I am with them I wonder most

That anyone likes the Sea. -

They take me a walk: though tired and stiff,

To climb the heights I madly agree;

And, after a tumble or so from the cliff,

They kindly suggest the Sea. -

I try the rocks, and I think it cool

That they laugh with such an excess of glee,

As I heavily slip into every pool

That skirts the cold cold Sea. - -